Woo Bin’s POV
The last time I slept with Ga Eul I had ended up so tired that I fell asleep as soon as I got home and wound up sleeping until the next day, standing up my friend Jennifer. I had to call her to apologize immediately and reschedule for when she was free, which was this weekend.
This was something totally new for me. When had I, Song Woo Bin, ended up so exhausted after a night of hot sex? Never! But I was sure it was because the person I was sharing everything with now was Ga Eul. If ever someone fit perfectly under the ‘wolf in sheep’s skin’ description, that was her…
Sweet and lovely when we went out, always first to blush at a naughty comment, well-mannered and soft-spoken; but when we were alone, it was a whole different story. Where had she learned to seduce the way she did? I had no idea, but I was really grateful to be the only one to get to see her in that way: free, uninhibited, bold… Something I was sure of was that I’d never mock her yoga tapes again. The girl was limber…
“Your face says you’re thinking something perverted.”
“Hello, Woo Bin, it’s good to see you again.”
We hugged and got something to eat. We talked about everything and nothing while she told me her fiancée would soon come to Korea for vacation, and then they’d both return to Boston for the wedding.
“You don’t know how happy I am you found the right man,” I told her.
“I know; it was something I thought would never happen, and yet, here I am, an engaged and happy woman. But what about you?”
“I’m asking because Maureen called me before I came and told me that despite her best efforts to get a date with you, you weren’t interested. She even told me she knew you weren’t as wild as before and that you didn’t have many ‘friends'”
“How did she find out about that?”
“Well, when Prince Song stops gallivanting, the whole world notices. Tell me, did you find someone?”
“Who is she?” I had to laugh at her sharpness.
“She’s a friend of a friend. Or, at least, she was at the beginning, but now she’s my friend too.”
“But she’s not one of those ‘friends’ I mentioned before?”
“No, it’s not like that. She is…different. She’s studying to be a teacher, you know? A kindergarten teacher. She loves small kids and is really good with them; these past few days she’s been working with an aunt of hers for practice. But don’t think she’s all sweetness. Can you believe she’s capable of holding her ground in a hand-to-hand fight with me? The plan was to teach her some self-defense basics and now she can beat my ass…”
When I saw the big smile that had spread across Jennifer’s face, I had to stop my description of Ga Eul.
“It’s hit you hard; I can see it. Are you in love?”
“You can’t imagine how much,” I heavily sighed.
“And what seems to be the problem with that?”
“She doesn’t know…It’s complicated; she was even in love with Yi Jung at one point, though not anymore, believe me. That’s all water under the bridge and he’s spreading his love all over Switzerland. It’s just that I don’t know how to tell her what I feel for her without losing everything we have now, and I know I sound like a coward for that, so you don’t need to tell me.”
“Are you guys…?”
“Yeah, we are.”
“You’ve reached that point and she doesn’t know what you feel for her?”
“I don’t think so.”
“Then you must tell her.”
“It’s not that simple-“
“Bollocks!” Jennifer always used the weirdest expressions. “Song Woo Bin, you are not a coward; you’re the heir to one of the most powerful and dangerous families of Korea, have had more women than any man, and have a huge heart full of kindness, which is very rare for being such a gigolo, and you tell me you don’t dare tell her you love her?”
“It sounds so bad when you put it that way.”
Jennifer was right. ‘Until the right person arrives’, that had been the agreement, but I wasn’t sure of how long I would be able to carry that lie. What if someone else came along and Ga Eul fell for them just because she didn’t know I loved her? Somehow I needed to build the courage to tell her…
But what if for Ga Eul all of this was just experimentation? It was true she had never been or ever would be an easy girl, but between us existed such a level of confidence that she had no problem telling me things. And besides, there was the matter of my lineage. The Korean mafia was my heritage by right. Would I be selfish enough to ask Ga Eul to stay by my side through this sordid world?
There was just one way to find out…
Ji Hoo’s POV
On my second week of vacation, I got two phone calls, both unexpected, but for different reasons.
The first one came on Tuesday night; the home phone rang and Jan Di quickly answered it.
“Unnie!” I was a little surprised. Was it Jae Kyung? “Yes…I’m fine…yes…It’s been hard, but it’ll be worth it… Yes, he’s here; I’ll put him on. Ji Hoo, it’s for you.”
I was once again surprised when she passed me the phone, but then the penny dropped and I realized who it had to be, the only person who could be calling in that exact moment, the only other person Jan Di called ‘unnie’.
“Hello, Ji Hoo. How are you?” came the calm voice of Seo Hyun
Truth was that Jan Di and I had talked for a long time after we started going out, and she had told me she wanted to tell Jae Kyung about us. She said it was only fair; besides during the two years, they had remained close through e-mail. My first worry, obviously, was Jun Pyo. Would he try something after hearing about our relationship? But Jan Di calmed me down, telling me that time had passed and she was sure his wound must have healed as well.
On the same note, Seo Hyun came to my mind, and I told Jan Di, for the first time, how she and I broke up in France.
“Even if you don’t believe it, we talked a lot about you. You left a deep impression on both of us…After we were together for a while, she started to see the politician. It hurt me like hell; I thought she didn’t understand all I had done to be with her, but Seo Hyun just replied by telling me that I had supposedly already found someone else and hadn’t noticed. Obviously, it was your name she mentioned, and I only laughed at the absurdity of the idea.”
“After noticing I was nothing more than a bother, I decided to leave. I told her I would clear the path for her to live her life as she wanted with whom she wanted, that I didn’t want to hear from her again. It was the first time I saw her so mad; Seo Hyun went to work that morning and when she came back she didn’t find me. I returned to Korea without saying goodbye, and since that day, I haven’t talked to her.”
“And now you wish to?”
“Yes, because now I understand, thanks to time and you, that I idealized Seo Hyun because of the love I felt for her, and I feel ashamed of my behavior. Mostly because what she said was true: I had noticed you but still didn’t realize it. I feel like I should apologize to her and tell her I’m happy now with a wonderful girlfriend by my side.”
“You’re right; you should apologize. Do it, and do it right now…If unnie still lives in the same place, you must have the address, right? Go, go, write her and tomorrow we’ll go to the post office.”
That night, we both wrote, she to Jae Kyung and I to Seo Hyun. Jan Di had already received an email back, and now I was getting a phone call.
“Very good, Seo Hyun. How are you?”
“Studying and working, but this is my final year and soon you’ll see me in court.”
“I can imagine.”
“I’m so happy you wrote me. I just finished reading your letter, and you don’t know the immensity of my joy at finding out how many good things have happened in your life. Your grandfather, your career, Jan Di…”
“Yes, many things have happened. But, Seo Hyun, I-“
“Don’t say it, Ji Hoo. No more apologies are needed; you put plenty on paper, and I too was guilty in our situation. I’m sorry we ended things the way we did as well, but it was for the best. Maybe our moment came too soon or too late, but it was there, even if short. Now we both have new goals and new people at our sides.”
“Yes, that’s true.”
“And tell me, how is it that everything happened?”
I ended up talking nearly two hours on the phone, and after the first 10 minutes, I put Seo Hyun on speaker and Jan Di joined us in the conversation. Seo Hyun promised to come back to Korea for her graduation vacation and bring Jan Di a pair of shoes.
The second call I received while alone. Jan Di had gone to the Art Centre to visit the children, and I’d stayed home to review some company papers. It was my cell phone that rang, and I was really surprised to see Jun Pyo’s name appear on the screen.
“Yah! Yoon Ji Hoo, how are you?”
“Great, really great, thanks. How about you? How’s the weather in Macau?”
“Warm as always. I miss Korean winters.”
“I can imagine. To what do I owe the honor of a call from the F4 leader?”
“Oh, Jae Kyung told me about an e-mail she got from Jan Di, and after hearing the news, I wanted to call and congratulate you.”
I pulled back my phone and checked the screen once more. Yes, it was Jun Pyo talking.
“Of course, who do you think I am?”
“It’s… well, a bit unexpected, but thanks.”
“I’m glad you made it, well, that both of you are making it. There’s a lot in front of you yet.”
“Yeah, we know.”
“But I’m sure that with you next to her, it will all be well.”
“Thank you very much, Jun Pyo.”
“Sorry this was such a short call, but I have a meeting in an hour and I have to get ready. Say hello to the rest of the group; we’ll talk some other day.”
“Sure, take care and say hello to Jae Kyung.”
And then he hung up. I couldn’t deny the call had been a total surprise… Who would say Jun Pyo would call to congratulate me for going out with Jan Di? I know we talked about it before his wedding, but everything had been so sudden. Words were spoken in a rush and carelessly; although, maybe that made them more honest.
I couldn’t help but laugh upon thinking about everything that had happened the day of my best friend’s wedding. Without knowing, my luck started to change that day, or at least, that’s what I believed. Truth is, the change had come way before, but I wouldn’t find out until later.
Jun Pyo’s POV
I hung up after calling my friend, so I could finish changing. Who would say that Ji Hoo would leave International Business and follow Medicine? Even in my craziest dreams I wouldn’t have imagined Jan Di would seriously go for being a doctor. Ji Hoo had made a comment about it before, but that was long ago.
“Jun? Are you changing already?” Jae Kyung’s singsong voice came to my ears.
“Yes, I was just on the phone with Ji Hoo for a minute.”
“W-With Ji Hoo?”
“Yes, after you told me he and Jan Di had aced their finals and were going into their fifth and sixth semesters I had to call and congratulate him.”
“Oh, I see. How nice…Did he say anything else?”
“Um, I don’t know, anything about Woo Bin or Ga Eul…”
“No, there was no time. We have to be in that meeting soon, so I told him I’ll call him another day. Can you help me with my tie?”
I noticed Jae Kyung was acting a little weird, but well, with the imminent opening of the Art Centre the old witch was so eager to achieve it was to be expected; everything had to be perfect. If I was being honest, I was surprised she had told me the news about Jan Di; normally we both tried to avoid the theme, but in the long run, this was the way to go. I couldn’t always live tormented by Jan Di’s memory, but as cruel as it sounded, being married constantly reminded me of her. Seeing my mother so often only reminded me of the hate I felt towards her for forcing me to bend to her will.
Although, of course, she only shared part of the blame. I had accepted it because I hadn’t found another way out, so I was also guilty. The real innocent here was Jae Kyung; she had only loved me since the beginning, and I hadn’t been able to return her love. I truly hope that with more dedication on my part, I can awaken the love I should feel for her, a husbandly kind of love.
“There, ready” she said after finishing helping me out.
“Thank you.” I turned and gave her a quick kiss. That always earned me a smile and made me feel a little bit better. “Now, go finish getting ready; we need to go.”
Ga Eul’s POV
“Jan Di, seriously, it’s nothing.”
“If it’s nothing, why are you hiding it?”
“Because it’s not exactly something you shout from the rooftops, right?”
Jan Di and I had gone to practice a little bit of self-defense that day at the gym. We both had different styles, and if not facing someone with a gun, we could definitely hold our own. The whole discussion started while, talking about nothing in the dressing room, I turned my back on her, and she saw a mark.
“Ga Eul, if you’re seeing someone and you don’t want to tell me that’s fine. I just want to make sure everything is well with you and that he’s not forcing you to do something you don’t want. You are my friend, my best friend… forget that, you’re my sister, so just reassure me and tell me your boyfriend is a good person.”
To see Jan Di so worried about me was touching, but it was her use of the expression ‘boyfriend’ for the person I was seeing that made me cry.
“Wait! What’s wrong? Hey, Ga Eul, has he hurt you!? Tell me who he is, so I can kick his face, Ga Eul; I swear-!”
“It’s Woo Bin!”
“The person I’m seeing is Woo Bin.”
“And he did that to you against your-!?”
“No! It was all consensual, Jan Di…I don’t know how to start explaining. Can we please get out of here? Please?”
Jan Di, for the first time, made use of the services Ji Hoo put at her disposal and called a driver, who immediately took us to her home. She took me to her room, left me alone for a minute and came back with two infusions.
I started at the beginning and told her everything. It was a huge relief to get it off my chest, and I felt as though a weight had been lifted off me. I told her every detail, which she deserved to know. After all, we made a promise when we were little girls to tell each other about our first times.
“But Ga Eul, it’s Woo Bin; not that he is a bad person, but he’s South Korea’s Don Juan!”
“You think I didn’t know that when all of this started?”
“But if this…weird arrangement between you two is hurting you, why do you keep doing it?”
“Because I’m in love with him.”
Jan Di said nothing but held me the whole time while I cried out my frustration on her shoulder.
“I have to end it; I know I have to…but it’s so hard.”
“Ga Eul…have you thought about telling him how you feel?”
“And put myself in an even more ridiculous situation? And suffer the unspeakable when he can’t respond to my feelings? I don’t think I could take it, Jan Di…”
“You really love him.”
“Listen, I know right now you’re hurt and sand and hormones must be flowing out of every pore of your body, so how about staying here today? We’ll watch movies, eat tons of chocolate and ice cream, and tomorrow when your head is clearer we can talk about what you have to do. Today, just forget everything; how does that sound?”
“Thank you, Jan Di.”
“Now, go wash your face; you’re all flushed and swollen. And I’ll change my t-shirt.”
I saw myself in the bathroom mirror and could see Jan Di was right; my nose looked like a balloon; my eyes were semi-closed; I was a total mess, but at least I had let out a little bit of my sadness, thanks to my friend.
I knew that at some point my relationship with Woo Bin was going to end, but I didn’t count on how badly I would take it; after all, had I ever done anything like that? After thinking it through, I was completely sure of two things: the first, it was definitely going to hurt way more than I had planned; the second, I regretted absolutely nothing.
I came out of the bathroom wondering if Ji Hoo would be mad at us for eating all the ice cream in his fridge, and then I came across him in the living room.
“Ga Eul, what happened to you?”
“Erm, well, I…”
“Ga Eul?” that voice came from the person entering the room, and of course, as Murphy’s Law would suggest, it had to be Woo Bin.
Ji Hoo’s POV
This did not bode well. When I invited Woo Bin to my house it was so that we could talk more at ease; after all, the study and now my room were two places in which we could have total privacy.
When Woo Bin invited me for lunch to ‘talk’, I thought it odd. When he started talking about a girl with whom he had fallen in love, I was surprised, and when he told me that girl was Chu Ga Eul, I was baffled.
It was true that I had noticed his feelings towards her had changed; one just had to take a look at the guy who was probably still in the hospital trying to get reconstructive surgery so that whatever it was in front of his skull could be considered a face, but still… To go from liking to bedding her? By invitation of Ga Eul? And to fall in love along the way? It was way too much information to process, more so because Woo Bin had called to ask for advice on how to tell her how he felt.
What did these girls have that had managed to captivate the hearts of the F4 so? Jan Di had made Jun Pyo and me fall in love with her, and I was more than sure that Yi Jung was really interested in Ga Eul, except his pride was too big and prevented his feelings from developing, and now it was Woo Bin who was head over heels for the same girl.
The best advice I could give was to confess, but Woo Bin was terrified of being rejected, and that was another thing that had left me speechless. It was then that I offered my house for a quieter talk; perhaps, with a little bit of luck and without relaying all the details of the story, we might be able to get Jan Di’s advice, as well. What I didn’t expect was to find Ga Eul standing in my living room with a swollen face from crying.
“Ga Eul, what happened to you?” Woo Bin asked her.
“Nothing, it’s nothing; everything is fine.”
“Don’t tell me everything is fine when your face looks like that. Why have you been crying?”
“Woo Bin, seriously, not today, okay? I want to be alone.”
“What’s wrong?” Jan Di came out of her room at that moment, and after witnessing the scene before her, she was surprised, but it didn’t last long because I had to physically restrain her when she almost launched herself at Woo Bin.
“Calm down,” I whispered in her ear.
“Ji Hoo, you don’t know everything he’s making my friend go through; let me go, so I can teach him a lesson.”
“I suspect you are aware of what happened between them, but I think it would be best if we let them fix it.”
I held Jan Di by the waist, keeping her close to me while Woo Bin and Ga Eul tried to make sense of the whole thing.
Woo Bin’s POV
“Wait, if Jan Di wants to smash my face that means that…” I left the phrase hanging.
“I’m sorry, I know I shouldn’t have said anything, but I couldn’t take it anymore,” Ga Eul blurted out.
“What do you mean?”
“That I can’t continue this thing we have, Woo Bin…I’m really sorry.”
To hear those words coming out of her mouth was shocking. There I was, planning to confess what I felt, only to be rejected prematurely.
“So that’s how it is…You start it, you finish it, right? Well, I hope the practice was satisfactory.” As soon as I said it, I regretted it. Ga Eul’s eyes watered, and she shot me a look of agonizing disbelief.
“Practice? That’s what you think we’ve been doing all this time? I can’t believe you. You know what? I think it will be best to leave it like this. After all, this must be so easy for you; you must have done this a thousand times. Be with a girl and then break up with her. Why does it hurt you so much now? Or, is it because you’re on the other side of the table this time?”
“I might have been with a lot of women, Ga Eul, but I never hurt any of them intentionally. Some of them are still my friends to this day.” I was getting really angry now.
“Yes, of course! And we all know what kind of ‘friends’ you have. You don’t have to give me any explanation because we were never exclusive since the beginning.”
“No, we weren’t…and if I’m mad it’s because of the way you’ve decided to end what we had.”
“Who cares about the way? Now you can be a free-agent like you always said you were. I’m clearing the path for you to reunite with all the women you surely had to cast aside for a bit to pay me some attention.”
“What the hell are you talking about?” She was confusing me.
“Hye Sun, Un Hyea, Sun Hi, Clara, Jennifer and I don’t remember the rest. Didn’t they all call you when we were together at some time? Didn’t you meet them after seeing me?”
“Yes, I did! But not for what you’re imagining!”
“And what am I imagining?”
“Ga Eul!” I finally yelled, “I haven’t been with another woman that wasn’t you in months!” And again, my mouth couldn’t keep up with my brain.
“W-What are you-?”
“Even before your kidnapping I had already stopped seeing all of my ‘friends’ as you call them. I stopped frequenting nightclubs, pubs, bars, because I always thought that maybe at some point you might call, and I wanted to be free. I started to get excited about seeing you for the defense classes; I would eagerly await one of your lessons or mine being cancelled so we could meet for ice cream, or for our free days to coincide, so we could go out… Haven’t you noticed that all this time I have looked only at you!?”
“But…all those phone calls…”
“Most of the time I met them to chat or to tell them I was no longer available. I’m useful for something other than practice, but apparently you don’t know that.”
“Woo Bin, I-“
“So if you want to end this, fine. You just saved me the inconvenience of coming here to say-“
“Do you really think I did all of that for practice!?” Ga Eul’s scream left everyone in silence. “Do you have any idea how difficult it was for me to go to your room that day? I was scared to death! Never in my whole life would I have thought I was capable of doing something like that, but…it was you. What did it matter if it was you? You want to know the only thing I thought about while being cuffed to that bed?” I swallowed hard, Ga Eul had never mentioned anything about her kidnapping. “I thought of you, of how different it would be if the person I could share my first time with could be you. Before losing consciousness, your face flashed before my eyes…”
“Why didn’t you tell me this before?”
“What? That I’m in love with you?”
And the world stopped. Ga Eul just said she was in love with me, something I’d only dreamed of for a while now. I’d been an idiot for not noticing.
“I didn’t tell you because I know who you are and your reputation…How could someone like you take notice of someone like me? Besides that I-mmph!” I embraced her before she could continue her rant.
“Shut up, you must be delirious if you believe something like that. I am the one who never thought someone as pure and beautiful as you would want to be by my side,” I spoke just loud enough for her to hear, “That afternoon, while I watched you sleeping after making love to you, all I could think about was how I had to make you fall in love with me somehow-because I had already fallen in love with you.”
She separated a bit from me.
“Forget about ‘until that special person arrives’; you’re my special person… Let me be yours, too, Ga Eul… Stay with me; be my girlfriend.”
I didn’t get to hear a ‘yes’ but only felt her hug me, and through her tearful laughter and careless kisses, her affirmation seemed implicit..
“I could lend you my room if you want to…” Ji Hoo’s voice burst our little bubble, and we both noticed that the whole discussion was held in front of our friends. Well, they had been there since the beginning; we just kinda forgot.
“No worries; we prefer larger beds.”
Totally red, Ga Eul slapped my arm. “Woo Bin!” she chided.
“What? I’m only telling the truth.”
“Wait a minute.” This time it was Jan Di who spoke, “This means that you two have been in love with each other for a while, even when you were having…when you were in this weird relationship of yours, but you didn’t know it, right?” Ga Eul and I nodded. “And now that you know how you feel for the other, you’re a couple, right?” We nodded again. “It’s okay, Ji Hoo, you can let me go now; I won’t kill him.”
Ji Hoo released her, smiling. Jan Di went to Ga Eul and hugged her tightly, telling her how relieved she was that everything turned out well in the end. Then, she turned to me, and I opened my arms, expecting the same treatment, but what I got was a hard punch to the jaw that knocked me to the ground.
“Jan Di! Woo Bin, are you alright?” Ga Eul was worried.
“That was for making my friend suffer; if you ever make her cry again I’ll beat you senseless. Do you hear me?”
“Yes…” Jan Di scared me sometimes.
What happened that afternoon had been so unbelievable that when I thought about it I couldn’t stop laughing. Ji Hoo gave me a couple of slaps on the back and a kissed Ga Eul on the cheek. Jan Di helped me stand up and hugged me, too, but told me she wouldn’t apologize for hitting me because I deserved it. Ga Eul dried her tears and remained by my side for the rest of the day. Jan Di and Ji Hoo told us there was no problem if we left in case we wanted to be alone, and we did want to, but there was also a feeling of satisfaction to be sharing this moment with two of the most special persons to us, who also went through hurdles to be together. It was an afternoon in which I felt completely happy and whole, with Ga Eul’s fingers laced through mine.
Jan Di’s POV
“I can’t believe everything that happened today…”
I was with Ji Hoo in his room; we were lying together on the carpet at the foot of his bed.
“You had no suspicions of Ga Eul’s feelings?”
“Well, no… We can’t spend as much time together as before, and she didn’t say anything about it. At some point I teased her a bit about it because I knew they were always together, but to go from that to…you know…”
“Well, I can somehow understand why Ga Eul decided to use that approach. Woo Bin is a person whose relationships had been purely physical; obviously she thought that without that aspect she wouldn’t have a chance. However, I can assure you that even if she hadn’t done that, Woo Bin was planning to woo her…One just had to see the look on his face the day Ga Eul was kidnapped. The worry of a friend is one thing; the worry of a man is something entirely different.”
“Were all F4 relationships like that?”
“You mean, were they all physical?” I nodded. “I know that for Woo Bin and Yi Jung it was, yes. Both of them had experiences that made them prone not to take relationships seriously. In Jun Pyo’s and my case it was different… I wanted to wait for Seo Hyun, and he thought he would never find the ideal woman. Jun Pyo was the most innocent of us four in that aspect, whether he accepts it or not.”
“And you…after returning from Paris, had other relationships…”
“If you want to ask me something, you can; I have nothing to hide.”
“It’s not that.” My face, which I had managed to keep cool was now flushed from the conversation I had started myself. “It’s just that…when they were leaving, Woo Bin started joking about how he wouldn’t get any sleep today, and Ga Eul looked so happy and radiant…”
“It makes me wonder what…that would be like.”
“You wanna know?”
“Of course I do, but the truth is that when I think about everything that entails, I feel really nervous…”
“You know I don’t plan to rush you into anything; I feel more than okay with how things are now between us. You know very well I loved our little encounter in the living room,” he said while holding me and kissing my neck, “and we can go slow; I don’t mind that.”
“They say men can only think of one thing.”
“Well, that’s somewhat true…I can’t deny that I dream about the day when I can finally make you completely mine and fully enjoy you…”
I freed myself from his arms and sat up. He followed my movements; I stared at him, and after a few seconds, I made my decision.
“Okay, do it.”
“What? But I’m telling you-“
“And you’re telling me this because you think I’ll lose interest or get tired of the relationship, right?” I didn’t answer. “Jan Di, how many years do you think I’ve been in love with you? How long do you think I have yearned to be by your side? And even if you weren’t with me, I was happy. Now, imagine how I feel knowing that you’re my girlfriend and that someday you’ll be my wife. You just told me you get nervous at the mere thought of it, so no, we won’t do it yet, but I’d like to know what you’re afraid of…”
“Well…I’m not sure, I just know it will be different, and I’ll be n-naked and I’m no model, and besides, I have no experience to make you feel good…” My voice lowered with each reason I gave.
“Let me see if I get this straight. The first point is acceptable, because it really is something you’ve never done before, but the next two…Do you think I don’t find you beautiful? Let the models stay in magazines and on runways; you must stay by my side because I’m sure your wrinkled skin and gray hair will be gorgeous…And about me not feeling good, I don’t know if you remember my embarrassing little episode when I got up from the couch.”
That day when I got off Ji Hoo, I felt wet, and it was obvious after what happened, but Ji Hoo was too and totally embarrassed. He was trying to cover it with his shirt, saying it shouldn’t happen like that. It was a bit funny to think he possessed that male pride as well.
“You have no idea how good I felt that day, above all because it was you who made the first move. I’m willing to do whatever you want at the pace you prefer, so don’t be afraid to say what you feel.”
“And you won’t be mad if we do something like that day without getting to…that?“
“Of course not…”
Ji Hoo seemed sincere; I felt he was, and I was a bit sad about not being able to take that final step. So many nights, I thought about it before going to bed, and I could never find a coherent reason not to do it, but he had told me everything would happen naturally, and I trusted his words.
I couldn’t think of what to say, so I took him back with me to the carpet and kissed him. Doing this didn’t bother me; touching him or having him touch me didn’t either. That day on the couch I hadn’t been able to restrain myself; my body simply followed its instincts and when it managed to break free, I was sure I’d never felt so…complete. It was as if I could literally see stars, and Ji Hoo was the one showing them to me.
Now that he had upholstered his bedroom windows, we could close the doors. Grandfather always made comments about it, but it was after midnight now and, like so many times before, I’d snuck into Ji Hoo’s room. At first it had been for chatting, studying or eating sweets; now it was for a totally different reason.
“Jan Di…do you remember what we said about going slowly?” Ji Hoo asked me, a little bit shaken when we separated for some air.
“Would you like to try it?”
For a moment, I thought he was talking about going the whole way, but the serenity in his gaze calmed me. I slowly nodded. Ji Hoo got up and offered me his hands so I could do the same. Then, he went to his bed and sat on it; pulling me backwards, he sat me on his lap.
“Are you okay?” He asked me.
“Y-Yes” I didn’t trust to say more, for I was already stuttering over one syllable.
“Good. If you don’t like something or feel nervous, just tell me and I’ll stop.” And with that, I felt him embrace my waist and pull me in so close that there was no space between his chest and my back; he started kissing my neck, leaving a humid trail to my ear. The overwhelming sensation compelled me to expose more skin so he could gain better access.
A few minutes went by and his hands started moving, unbuttoning my pajama top, his lips never leaving my skin, and soon, my torso was bare… Ji Hoo began to kiss my back, and one of his hands gently grazed my shoulder blade and trailed downward to my waistband.
That time on the couch I discovered how amazing his caresses felt on my back, but now it was different because of the position I was in. What was even more amazing was when his hand ventured up and rested on each of my breasts. The warmth that spread from there all the way down to my toes was shocking. On reflex, I arched my back, causing my head to rest on his shoulder and increasing the pressure of my body on him. When I felt something rigid against me, I shivered, and apparently he felt it too, given the bite to my shoulder and the low growl he let out.
His fingers played with my front, pinching, caressing, squeezing… I raised my arms so I could touch his face and weave my fingers through his hair. It wasn’t long before we were both breathing in sync, but that wasn’t all. Try as I might, I couldn’t hold back the small whimpers escaping my throat.
“I love listening to you…your voice lets me know that I’m on the right track, see?” he asked, simultaneously pinching my front and grazing my back, which nearly made me scream, “that’s how I get to know what you like…”
And I liked it. I was so lost in his voice and caresses that I didn’t notice his hand traveling from my breast down my belly and to my navel. I froze when I felt his fingers near my underwear.
“Relax, I won’t do it…” With those words, he retracted his hand, but even though I had frozen for a moment, excitement and curiosity trumped modesty. I had already experienced what it was like to come by touching myself, but how different would it be if Ji Hoo were to do it?
“No, it’s fine,” I told him, taking his hand and putting it back where it had been. “But…what about you?” I guided my hand to his trousers, lightly touching his crotch…which automatically earned a jolt from him.
“This is being fine?”
“I’m not doing this just so you’ll do the same.”
“I know, and because of that and other reasons, I want to do it.”
“Other reasons?” His hands hadn’t stopped caressing me, but at that moment one of them left my waist and covered the hand I had on him. “What reasons?” he murmured the question in my ear, giving me goosebumps.
“I…mmm…I want to know what you like too…”
He stopped his exploration south of my body to turn my face and kiss me hard; his tongue kept me distracted until I felt my fingers touching something hot, soft in texture, but completely hard.
I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to do, but his hand guided mine to grasp his masculinity. He kept kissing me feverishly, and then I noticed that Ji Hoo was directly touching the most intimate part of me.
“God, you’re so wet…”
“I…I don’t k-know…” I wasn’t sure how to even begin to describe all the sensations going through my body at that moment, the feel of him touching and caressing me, kissing my neck, hugging my waist, hardening between my fingers…
“Shhh, I’m here, I got you…”
Instinctively, I parted my legs, and we both gasped. My hand tried to start some sort of stroking, up and down, concentrating on giving him all the pleasure I could, but when Ji Hoo found that little piece of hidden flesh and massaged it, I threw all caution to the wind and turned at an impossible angle to kiss him; he responded with equal fervor.
“Tell me…tell me what to do.” I gasped.
“You first…,” he answered, panting.
With my shame discarded somewhere in the room, I placed my hand on his, and sighing heavily, I showed him the correct places, and he did the same, showing me the rhythm he enjoyed. I was apparently being too gentle; he showed me the tighter, more aggressive grip that he liked.
I don’t know how long we were like that, touching, discovering… His kisses were febrile and violent. When we figured out what we were doing, we let one of our hands return to its previous exploration, his to my chest and mine to his face. The instant he took my fingers in his mouth, I exploded.
It was a good thing that he managed to cover my mouth because I’m sure I would have woken the neighbors. I climaxed in such an amazing way that the spasms wouldn’t stop, even after I descended from my peak… But I needed to focus; I needed to keep my grip on him so he could come with me.
“Jan Di…Jan Di…”
He repeated my name again and again, helping me take him to the edge. A couple more seconds passed, and I sensed his body shaking strongly; he embraced me and muffled his moans against my back, where I could feel a warm liquid that assured me he had enjoyed this as much as I had.
And that made me feel happy and satisfied.
Ji Hoo’s POV
When I had proposed to Jan Di the idea of going slowly, my intention had been to discover each other a little bit more… I definitely ended up with more than I bargained for.
She decided to stay in my room that night, so after a quick change, she returned to my side in bed.
While she slept close to me, I marveled at what we had done. It was all so natural with her, so simple… We had explored each other, touching in such an intimate way that I thought impossible until the day I could actually make love to her. Halfway there, I realized I’d gone beyond the established area and crossed a line. However it all went better than I expected when Jan Di let herself go and once again showed me how to please her.
Oh, the sensation of having her hand on me! Just remembering was causing me to react again.
“My beautiful lotus flower…” I gazed at her calm face lying on my chest, inside which my heart nearly ached from the continuously growing love I had for her, a love I thought would need to remain forever hidden. “Do you have any idea the things you provoke in me?”
Jan Di stirred a little bit in her dreams, tightening her hold on me and tangling her leg around mine, making it impossible for me to move.
If you are the chain, I’ll be more than happy to remain forever imprisoned.